Go put on your tuxedo Alex, it's time to eat a cheese blintz.

Well, well, well. Back to the land of high stadiums and low parking lots. (Cath- we did hit up the Mensa parking lot and I am sure you can guess how that went.)

I have taken up baking. I think that Pifo brings out the baker in me, most likely because Uncle Matt gives me a lot of positive reinforcement. I have mastered pies, blintzes, a newly invented variation chocolate fudge brownies, and today I wll move on to eclairs.

Speaking of baking ingredients, the chickens have all gone mad and they are eating their own eggs. I believe Ashley is behind this turn of events.... it has her name written all over it. The little fighting chicken decided to take over a flower pot to raise her chicks in, but Argo found the nest before they could hatch. Pinche Argo. She may be a hell of a dog, but her policy towards chickens could use some work.

We went to a ceremony at Alex's school on Saturday. They are forced to swear fealty to the Ecuadorian flag every year, while they march in place and sing songs about how they hate Peru and whatnot. It all looked a bit fascist to me, but the mere fact that the Italian kid marched in place much better than Alex will make great material for Cath's screenplay.

So, I started taking notes.

We went to the BBQ at Ximena's grandmother's mansion afterwards, where I was able to jot down many more juicy tidbits for Cath's future movie. For example, all of the kids kept throwing eachother into the pool, and the Italian kid had a terry cloth robe just waiting for him as soon as he climbed out. Say no more.

I was able to try out my new water bottle holder that day. Naturally, it has a llama on it, and it turned out to be just the perfect thing for sneaking some vino tinto into the party. (I have learned from past experiences that Ecuadorian's only drink one half a cup of beer every 45 minutes, and that will just put this Gringa to sleep.) Alison's brother discovered the WBH (water bottle holder) secret while the parents were all playing futbol, and so I had to hush him up with a story about how one time I broke a girls leg during a high school soccer match. I think that did the trick.

Speaking of almost passing out, Alex broke his finger in the pool. Don't ask me how, becuase I am not quite sure. But, he came in the house and yelled, "Margo, can you get me some alcohol!?" I thought he wanted a beer, which I thought was a rather strange thing to request in front of your teacher and principal, but it turned out he just wanted to disinfect the finger that was gushing blood everywhere. The little Ecuadorian girls took good care of him though, so apparently his fake sideburns do serve a purpose. (Although the Italian kid has much bigger fake sideburns. Classic.)

Last night, Alex and I went on a mission around Pifo to look for another copy of Grand Theft Auto for his PS2 (his mom hides them and then he has to buy another copy.... this happens about every other day) and it turns out he has a bigger gambling problem than Cath. Long story.... it involves Dance Dance Revolution and an underground marble ring.

The white poodles are out of control and are growing in numbers. I lost my dog whistle, so I must bring protection with me at all times. Since I don't have my harpoon gun with me (it is difficult to take across international borders), I bring either an Uncle, a cousin, or a small obsidian daggar that Alex fashioned for me, which has already been destroyed in battle at least once. When will this war agaist the white poodle and his minions ever end?

It is time to master the French art of eclairs now, call me Julia Childs if you wish.

Back home in Pifo!

Feb 20- We explored some more Miraflores markets that day, ate some delicious street ceviche, and met a rather nice Peruvian woman who spanked Ash and Dilan as they danced salsa in the park and showed me where to get some great ice-cream. After an afternoon of fun, I sadly said my goodbyes to Ash and Dill, and tried not to cry as we parted ways. I feel as if though my right arm has been ripped from its socket. At least Ash will be arriving in Pifo shortly, otherwise I am not sure I could have taken it. Charlie, it really hurts. As night fell, I made it to the airport where I helped a poor neglected survey boy with his work, and in turn he gave me a keychain. Score! After an extremely pleasant ride on the ever-reliable TACA airlines- with a whole row to myself and a freashly made tuna sandie- Uncle Matt picked me up at the Quito airport at a rather late hour. When we got home, we spent a while catching up on the happenings of the past month over a couple of Clubs until we realized it was 4am and went to bed. I have no concept of the space-time continuim anymore. And oh how I missed falling asleep to the family roosters.

Feb 21- Yesterday I went to a BBQ with Alex and Esmil at the Compadres house. I ate some rather delicious food and talked about the Cusco floods with some rather distinguished guests. After returning home, we made some delicious pear pie and watched a movie about Zombies. Boy it feels good to be home. I can flush toilet paper down the toilet and relax without having to worry about finding a naked Swede peeing in my bed. Pifo is a hell of a town.

Ode to my right arm.

One night after drinking some mead,
Ash discovered a buck naked Swede.
He was sprawled on her bed....
And he looked kinda dead.....
And it appeared as if though he had peed.

Classic.

Feb 17- We got ahold of Dill Pickle on the ever reliable facebook and took a taxi ride over to Miraflores (the coastal, beachy part of Lima) and found him in the park. Our taxi driver decided that we were the 3 best friends that anyone ever had and he bought us ice cream and took us to some great cliffs overlooking the Peruvian beach. Classic Santo. I almost went paragliding, but I didn't have any money, so that answered that question. We spent the rest of the day exploring Miraflores a bit more. We almost got stung by a scorpion, had fun on a twirly thing in the playground with some young children, went to a mall that is built into the side of a cliff and ate at Tony Roma's (I felt like Aunt Lil) where we had not white rice, but gasp!! shrimp scampi pasta!! It was to die for and so was the waiter. We headed back to the hostel shortly after and hit the hay. The black lung was taking over.

Feb 18- We fixed up a homecooked meal at our beloved and brightly painted hostel and woke up nice and slow while Ashley played her one song on the guitar. I love that song. Eventually we walked to some ancient ruins and ate some ice-cream. We had a picnic on the beach that evening that consisted of sandwiches (classic Ashley) and we got palta (avacado) on everything. What else is new? The black lung got the best of me, so I opted out of watching the end of the Argentinian/Peru futbol game with the rest of the multicultural group that was hanging out in the living room and curled up in a ball and tried to breathe in some oxygen as I fell asleep at an early hour. Those Bolivian sandstorms really clogged up my respiratory system.

Feb 19- Ash got me a lucky crystal while I was sleeping, so I fashioned it into a necklace so that I can have this good energy-inducing geological miracle close to my heart at all times. Santos was still waiting outside that morning (he has been outside our hostel for the past 3 days) and so we had to sneak out in order to avoid waking up on an ice bath with a scar on our left hips and 3 missing belly packs, and hopped on a bus to head back to Alan's neck of the woods. We went on a shopping spree in China town (hey, I needed new purple sunglasses, I sat on my other ones) and enjoyed 3 ice creams- one for every meal. We got back after witnessing a fight on a bus that was caused due to the driver almost crashing into another colectivo and headed to a cafe. After 7 Nirvana songs, we headed out to Baranco to hit up the night life. (My black lung is better now) and had some nice cervezas while at a rather posh bar that was overlooking the beach. We ran into a bunch of guys from our hostel and made it back home around 3am. Ashley found a naked Swede on her bed and a giant wet spot. Classic.

Fen 20- Headed back to Pifo tonight!!!!! it's a hell of a town!! :)

Te vas, te vas, te vas!!

Feb 2- We started off the day with the Californians and some banana pancakes. Shortly thereafter, we decided it was time to reinvest in a couple of bottles of Peruvian ron. What can I say, we were on a roll. (Hahahaha Robin, remember that shirt we saw in Hawaii with that slice of butter standing on a roll that said, "I'm on a roll" hahahahaha?!!) Anywho, we ended up going to the floating reed islands of Lake Titikaka that day. These Aymara people literally pick grass, weave it together, and live on these giant mats that float on the lake. It is crazy. And awesome. Click this if you want to learn more. (I am so Wikipedia....) So, we hung out on the floating reeds for a while and drank a nice Peruvian beer and had some delicious choclo. These islands have everything, even a discotec. We rode on the roof of the boat on the way back, but it started to hale, so we had to go with Plan B and "make a run for it" inside. We played more Jenga that night and got the tower up to 39 stacks. Impressive. Ash hit the hay early that night, but I wasn't quite ready for slumber, so I headed out to a couple of discotecs with the Californians and got sprayed with beer multiple times. Although my hips don't lie, they were surrounded by campo shufflers and I just haven't quite mastered that step yet, so my moves were kept to a minimum. Plus, my wingman was fast asleep, so we couldn't do our dance routine

Feb 3- We went out to breakfast with the Californians again. This was the absolute most awkward dining experience I have ever had. The boys got their food and paid for it before we even got our coffee. Then, when we did get our food, the "omelette" (which was written in English and had a picture of an omelette next to it) was actually a steak. Since we are both vegetarians, we obviously didn't want steak for breakfast. So, we just asked politely for an egg instead. We got one egg on a plate. It looked like a lump of something that a llama spit out. Then, we asked for bread to go with it. We got a cold slice of non-toasted Wonderbread. Then, when we tried to pay, they told us that our money was counterfeit. It wasn't. Geez Louise. Now, as you all know, I am the world's best customer, as I have worked in many a restaurants and I know how it is, but seriously, this was a little much. I had to contain my insanity laughter until we got outside. So, we got the hell out of there and ended up going to see the "Puma," which is a giant puma on top of a mountain. The mirador overlooks the entire city of Puno and Lake Titikaka. It was gorgeous. We played ball with a bunch of Peruvian jovenes and then found a colectivo to take us back down again. Ashley somehow convinced the driver to let her man the vehicle the entire way down the cliff-lined road. Needless to say, I was scared for my life for various reasons. And many a people waiting for a ride down opted to wait for the next colectivo. Luckily we made it down the mountain alive and got dropped off at the carnival near the lake. We played some games and I won a small plastic car which I gave to a small Peruvian boy who was quite excited about the whole situation. We took a mototaxi back and somehow Ashley almost flipped hers. What a spectacle that was. The only minor roblem that I had with mine is that I had to get out and help the man manually lift the damn thing over the train tracks. No big deal. We went back to the Jenga place and had another tournament. Don't ask. Ashley went missing for a while, but she was just Skyping her parents, so that was a relief. I didn't particularly feel like scouring the black market for her missing kidney and then having to explain to the Peruvian mafia that it wasn't worth anything.

Feb 4- Off to Bolivia!! What a day. We hopped on the bus and after many hours of beautiful landscapes and bumping reggaeton songs, we finally reached the border. Well, apparently Bolivians hate Americans. This was made quite clear to us. We were the only 2 on the bus that had to get a visa (the embassy in Peru told us to do it at the border as it was much easier.... thanks a lot embassy....) First we couldn't cross due to Ashley's new passport and her missing entry stamp. Illegal bribe number one. Then I didn't have a copy of my yellow fever vaccination. Illegal bribe number two. Then we didn't have an Andean Immigration Card. Illegal bribe number 3. Half and hour and numerous bribes later, the bus driver started screaming at us that we were taking too long and that he was going to leave without us. He was screaming about how stupid Americans are and what horrible problems we create in the world. (Before we got on the bus, he knew we were Americanas and that we had to get visas and he knew how long it would take....) Due to the fact that we were being left in the middle of nowhere on the Bolivian frontier, we had no time to argue with the border police about how illegal and unfair their bribes were and how it was just not ok in general. It wouldn't surprise me in the least bit if they have a system going there. So, instead arguing about bribes, I had to argue with the bus driver and explain that there was no way in hell he was going to leave us there and it really wasn't our fault we were born in America, or that the border police wanted to keep us there for hours in order to milk as much money as possible out of us. (Like we have money.) So, regardless of the fact that we were playing by their rules, as we were signing the paperwork (that we didn't even have to fill out, they just made us sign a blank paper) for the visa, the bus driver started to drive away. We grabbed our passports and said goodbye to the bastard Bolivian police and ran after the bus screaming. This is hard to do at 5,000 meters above sea level. He finally stopped (he had our bags too) and we jumped on the bus, a little more than fed up and out of breath. Everyone clapped for us, but I am pretty sure we also got some death glares. Ashley got revenge as she dropped a banana peel on the bus in hopes that the driver would slip..... We finally got to Copacabana and found a hostel to set up camp in. We ate at a restaurant with a slanted floor and thought it was weird, until it started raining and water leaked through the roof and slid down the floor and out the door. Then it all made sense. It hailed as well, but at least we had ice for our warm Bolivian beer.

Feb 5-We woke up at a reasonable hour, about 9:30 or so, in order to enjoy the complimentary breakfast that was included in our hostel. Well, apparently it was really an hour later because we had crossed a time zone that we didn´t know about and we missed breakfast because it was actually 10;30. Damn. So, we found a new hostel and that is when we met the Argentinians. We immediately bought a bottle of Singani and then all headed down to the beach in order to rent a ducky boat to paddle around Lake Titikaka. Everyone jumped in the water except for me, as it was about 1 degree. I was just about to commandeer a giant dragon-shaped boat made out of reeds when Ashley climbed out of the water and went blind. That was scary. We paddled back to shore and she passed out a few times on the beach. Old women kept force feeding her sugar. I ran up the hill and forced this guy with a car to come pick her up and take her back to the hostel. She couldn't stop shivering. I think the combo of no oxygen, too much Singani, cold water, and not enough food and water shocked her system into badness. Once she recovered, the Argentinians tried to teach us how to play an Argentinian card game called "Truca." I am pretty sure we cheated because it made no sense. We switched to a game called "Chancho," which was much easier, but I am pretty sure it was aimed at a 3 year old level. We went out to dinner that night at a local restaurant and Ashley found a chicken foot in her soup. Classic. We hit the hay rather early due to the day's excitement and fell asleep making shadow puppets of dinosaurs and alligators. Why are reptiles always the easiest to do?

Feb 6- We woke up early that day to head to La Isla Del Sol. We left with the Aregentinians, but somehow lost Mariano in the mix. Hmm? The 2 hour boat ride was rather bumpy, but the scenery was quite nice. And none of us threw up in a bag, so that was a plus. We got to the island and found that Mariano had gotten on the other boat, so that was good news. We then set off on a "4 hour hike," which turned out to be an all day hike, because we stopped about 87 times. (At such an elevation, it was rather necessary, plus we had to take many pics.) The views were amazing. The landscape changed so many times, it was unbelieveable. I had no idea that I wanted to go to Isla del sol, but apparently I did becuase it is now one of my favorite paces on earth. So gorgeous. We stopped at some ancient ruins along the way and took a nap there. We found Frederico and Luli, who have apparently been missing, and then made our way to the beach. We set up camp (the Argentinians had a tent) among numerous pigs, donkeys, and more Argentinians (there were quite a lot). We found some snacks and snuggled up to sleep rather early as the day was exhausting.

Feb 7- I woke up to baby pigs trying to get into the tent. Not kidding. This is not the first time that has happened to me in South America and I am sure it won't be the last. The sun was bright and hot that day, so I hid under my hat and sunglasses like an old lady. I made friends with many a small Bolivian children who like to make sandcastles and ask for candy. I met some really cool old people from Cochabamba who invited us to stay with them. I wish I had time to go there, as it sounds like an amazing place. Next time. At one point, a small baby fell and started screaming bloody murder, so I picked it up in order to help. It screamed for like an hour, and I couldn't take it anymore. I think I do better with turtles. Thank God Luli got him to stop. We found some boxed wine and watched the stars come out. There was absolutely no light pollution, so we could see every constellation and every detail of the Milky Way. It was beautiful. Shooting stars aplenty. It was freezing cold at night, the complete opposite of the burning hot day. We fell alseep in a real pile to the sound of the Argentinians making fun of the way we say "mango."

Feb 8- Woke up to pigs again, but these ones were bigger. I couldn't find my shoes anywhere. Some Bolivian child stole them in the night. Since we had left our packs in Copacabana, I had no spare pair, so needless to say, I spent the rest of our time on the island with no shoes. Then, after that realization, I had a mango in hand and a pig came up to me and snatched it right from my grasp. He was rather aggressive and I couldn't get it back without putting my life in danger, so the bastard got away with it. Down a pair of shoes and a mango, but up an Argentinian, so it all evened out in the end. We went on a couple of walks and saw some rather impressive waterfalls and yellow birds as well as great views of the lake. The Argentinans gave me their shoes to wear, so that was nice. I spent the afternoon protecting the rest of the mangoes from the pigs and eating many bananas. We had run out of Bolivianos and Ashley tried to sell my kidney for wine and chocolate, but there were no takers. Our Argentinian friends crafted up some kind of stove in the sand out of rocks and cans and rubbing alcohol and made us some fideo with a touch of sand for dinner, so that was cool. I accidentaly chugged a bottle of Bolivian tap water, and I am still alive, so that is good news. I must have a lot of bugs in my system. There were crazy thunderstorms that night, and some rather impressive lighting.

Feb 9- We left "the island" early that morning (I am pretty sure that the polar bears and black smoke were about to come out) and said goodbye to our Argentinian friends. We hopped off the boat, got our stuff, and then hopped onto a bus. At some point in there I finally put on some shoes. That is when my eye started to hurt. The island was sandy and windy and I am pretty sure I got sand in my contact lens. My eye hurt the whole way to La Paz. Once in La Paz (4 hours later), we got a bus directly to Uyuni and spent another night on the bus (11 hours). My eye got worse and I had to fashion a patch out of pink toilet paper and a purple headband. Stylish, but not fit for comfort. The ride was bumpy and my seat was broken. Not my best bus ride. When I woke up in Uyuni, my eye was swollen shut. Awesome.

Feb 10-As soon as we got in to Uyuni, we booked a hsotel and headed straight for the pharmacy. Luckily we found one and the guy gave me some eye drops and my eye felt better immediately. Unfortunately, the entire town was out of electricity, so we walked around to explore but nothing was open or fucntioning and there was no ice cream to be found anywhere. We ended up finding some boxed wine and making top-o-ramen and eating it with my switchblade. Your classic Ashley and Margaret afternoon. Ashley confessed, and I quote, "Marg, the moment I saw you, I knew I would spend the rest of my life with you." So, that takes care of that. That evening the electricity came back on and the town came alive. Carnival was in the air and we got chased by small Bolivian boys with water guns. We spilled some wine. We found a tour operator to talk to about gong to the salt flats and arranged to leave the following day. My eye was good as new by the end of the day. Nice work Bolivian eye drops. We got some pizza and called it a night.....

Feb 11- We woke up bright and early to make it to the tour place on time. But, half an hour later their door was still locked and I was nervous. I don't know why, because lets face it, we were in Bolivia, and so of course they showed up an hour later. Classic Bolivia. We met our group and immediately knew that everyone in it was awesome. The group consisted of two Spaniards named Roberto and Sebas, one American living in Uruguay named Braden, and two Bolivians, Gonzalo the driver and Maribel the cook. And lets just say the extra 14 dollars we spent to ensure that our driver was sober was well worth it becuase every other driver on the street was completely blacked out that morning. Scary. 5 minutes after we set off into the desert, we got our first flat tire. Classic Bolivia. Gonzalo, however, was quite the handyman and he changed it in a jiffy. Shortly thereafter, we ended up in the salt flats. Solar de Uyuni. I have never seen anything like this before. It was amazing. There was salt for miles and miles and a volcano that looked about a mile away, but was actually 200 km. There was no depth perception to be had there. And yes I had my glasses on. It had rained the night before, so everything looked like a giant mirror. It was so cool!!!! Click here to check it out if you have timne. There is really no way to describe how cool it was. We took a bunch of funny optical illusions pics, for example, in one it looks like I am standing on Ashley's shoulder. I will post them when I get home. I licked the ground and then we ate a gourmet meal at a table made of salt crystals. Then we piled back in the jeep and stopped at a train cemetary, which is just a bunch of old abandoned trains in the middle of the desert. Weird, but cool nonetheless. We then made our way to the hostel in the middle of a different part of the desert. We saw many vicuñas and alpacas and llamas roaming the wild and saw lots of lighting in the distance. I was slightly worried the the roof of the jeep would cave in at some point, but luckily it didn't!! We arrived at our destiniation around dusk and watched the sun set behind the distant volcanoes. We had another yummy meal and Team Awesome cracked open the wine and watched some shooting stars. We eventually snuck into the bonfire that was run by the other tour group... they were charging 1 boliviano (ok that is like 12 cents) for firewood, but we just waited until they were all drunk and then joined in.

Feb 12- We woke up at the hostel in the middle of the desert, ate some pancakes, and started the day. We journeyed through many terrains and viewed many alpacas, vicuñas, and crazy land formations. We saw the rocks that inspired Salvador Dali, we saw a red lake with white borax islands, we saw numerous volcanoes, we saw rocks shaped like condors and trees, and we saw teal lakes filled with flamingoes and we saw much, much more. The landscape changed so much and so fast, it was insane. It was all so beautiful too. Breathtaking really. Quite honestly, it was indescribable. Every view was mind blowing. I will post a link to pics when I get home and have time to load them. The food was amazing as well, we had gourmet vegetarian food, the best we have eaten in a long time. Much better than just a piece of bread and a banana a day. We ended the day in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by quicksand and swirling tornadoes of dust (scary). Team Awesome shared a room and we had some good times conversing and drinking tea until we decided it was time to switch to wine and then we had good times conversing and drinking vino. The power went out and we rehearsed limericks by candlelight and we had to keep telling the Chileans next to us to be quiet coyotes because some German chick was getting mad. Classic.

Feb 13- We woke up at about 4am to start our last day of the expedition. We avoided the quicksand and piled into the jeep and stopped at some geyers that are at nearly 5000 meters to watch the sunrise. It was damn cold out due to the fact that it was so early and we were at such a high elevation, but I was able to warm my feet up with the geysers. In fact, I accidentaly steam burned my foot. Sebass tried to sacrifice me to the volcano gods, but luckily he was unsuccessful. I don't think Mom would be happy if I turned out like Juanita the Ice Maiden. We then went to some hot springs, which was actually just a lake on a mountain that was hot. Awesome. Flamingoes seemed to like it there, which is so weird to me as I picture them living in the Caribbean and this landscape was nothing at all like the Caribbean. Our next stop was Laguna Verde, where was saw more flamingoes eating nothing but algae and more vicuñas eating nothing but lichen. I wanted to give them some shrimp and some grass, but they seemed quite content. The volcano in the background was gorgeous, an array of many colors. We then headed to the Chilean border. Ashley and I snuck across to take some pictures. Classic us. We had to say our goodbyes to Sebas and Roberto and Robin (honorary Team Awesome member from England) as they were headed on to the next country. Due to the fact that Americans now have to pay huge visa fees and work many a bribes to actually get the paperwork, we decided that going to Chile simply to take the bus back to Peru was silly, so we stayed in the jeep. It was quite sad, as we all grew quite close during our expedition. Then, Ash, Braden, Gonzalo, Maribel and I started the 10 hour drive back to Uyuni. We cracked open the last bottle of wine and finished off the Singani in order to spice up the road trip, and then we found a bunch of plastic dinosaurs in the gloverment, so after that discovery things just got crazy. We picked up a local in a small town during a bathroom break to bring him back to Uyuni with us, and made him hold the T-Rex the whole time. Obviously I took the brontosaurus. Maribel had another carnivore of some type. We got back to Uyuni at about 5 pm and realized that carnaval had started. So Ash, Braden, and I picked up a few boxes of wine for 9 bolivianos (a little more than a dollar) and joined in the festivities. We started off watching the parade and getting sprayed by shaving cream and water. Then we ended up in the parade dancing the campo shuffle and then we ended up at the after party dancing with tons of little old indigenous women who gave us trigo and made us wear their hats. I have no idea how they had so much energy or how they got so low. I was out of breath after 5 minutes at this elevation. But that didn't stop me. (Although my lungs hurt now.) Apparently we were quite entertaining.... the young locals all lined up to take pics of us with their cell phones. At some point in the night I ended up with a Fred Flinstone costume. We were fed free beer all night and it was awesome. The Bolivians had finally warmed up to us!! It may have been the wine talking, but all the same, I finally felt accepted into the country. The dance party was just insane and we were definitely the only gringos there; it was a blast!! We saw the loud Chileans again and Ashley stole their shoes. I had to step on Ashley's sleeping bag.

Feb 14- Happy Valentines Day!! We woke up, with confetti in our hair and streamers around our necks. We got our bus tickets out of Uyuni and then spent the day unsuccessfully avoiding shaving cream and water balloons. We ended up seeking shelter in a pizza place and watching a bit of the Olympics. (The Olympics, what else?) We said our sad goodbyes to our favorite Minnesotan and he may or may not have stolen Ashley's pepper shaker that she actually stole from a pizza place. Hahahaha just kidding Braden. We miss you!! We hopped on the bus and spent the next 11 hours making our way to La Paz.

Feb 15- We arrived in La Paz at about 5:30 am. Nothing was open when we got there, so I blogged a bit in the bus station internet cafe, which was surprisingly cheap. Nice. Ashley nursed her swollen eye (if its not one thing its another around here) and we eventually got our tickets to Lima. We spent a few hours exlporing La Paz and all it had to offer. We were chased by small boys with shaving cream for the 87th time and peroused a market full of llama fetuses. We ate some delicious street food, although I couldn't tell you what it consisted of, and then made our way back through the parades to the bus station. They tried to detain us at the border once again, but at least this time we didn't have to pay multiple bribes to be let across. The Peruvian officials are much kinder towards American tourists than the Bolivian ones.... The rest of the day was made up of many J-lo classics, including the one they filmed in Gig Harbor, oh the memories of sneaking out of school to catch a glimpse.

Feb 16- 26 hours later, we made it to Lima. The bus ride was rather uneventful. More J-Lo and more bananas. We got to Lima around 5pm last night and made our way to the ever faithful Wiracocha hostel. It misses you Cath. So does Alan. We are supposed to meet up with Ashley's friend Dill Pickle, but we don't know where he is, so after taking a shower for the first time in who knows how long, we went to everyones favorite Plaza de Armas and starting screaming his name. We didn't find him that way and so we went to Plan B and went to the grocery store to get ice cream and wine. Classic us. We met a guy last night that promised us free ceviche, so we will see if that holds true. Just blogging away now, advancing my carpel tunnel and trying not to cough. (Those deserts in Bolivia gave us the black lung.) Cheerio.

Wow what a typing run. My hand hurts now.

And we're back....

well well, where do I begin?? I last left off on January 23, 2010.....

Jan 22- my last solo day in Lima. I may or may not have gone to see that movie about the toothfairy starring The Rock, but you can't prove it. I met a Peruvian English student who asked me why I wasn't fat if I was from the United States. I told him that it was my vodka diet, and that everyone else in the States is, indeed at least 600 pounds. I ate some ceviche that afternoon seeing as how I was headed for the mountains, and let's face it, eating ceviche in the Peruvian mountains isn't exactly one of the best ideas a person could ever have. I called mom and dad that night to assure them that I was alive and we had a wonderful chat, and then I headed to the bus station to make my way to Arequipa.

Jan 23- I woke up that morning on the bus to Arequipa to the wonderful 2009 flick "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs." We also had the pleasure of playing Cruz Del Sur bingo, and the lady next to me won!! Sacanagem!! I was so close!! If Cath had been sitting there, we would have had a free bus ticket. Blast!! I really wanted that blue ribbon. Anywho, I arrived in Arequipa and just as we were pulling into town, I saw an Andean condor!! No joke!! It was really cool and really big. I spent the afternoon exlporing the town a bit. I had a nice lucuma, mango, and maracuya smoothie, which was quite delightful. I went to the Santuarios Andinos UCSM Museum to see Juanita the Ice Maiden, and that was pretty cool. She was found on top of the volcano Ampato, when the glaciers started to retreat back in 1995. She was an Incan sacrifice to the volcano gods and has been frozen in perfect condition for over 500 years. Really cool, you should read this link if you are bored. Another interesting fact about Arequipa is that they have an unnatural amount pigeons. This flock was about 8,000 times bigger than the one that was listening to reggaeton outside our hostel in Lima. That is a lot of pigeons. I headed to Cusco that night.

Jan 24- I arrived in Cusco extremely early that morning and it was FREEZING!!!!!! It was POURING down rain and I was soaked the instant I stepped outside. Little did I know at the time what was about to come. I ran to the nearest hostel in order to escape the weather, and then spent the rest of the day trying to track down Ashley via Internet and wandering around La Plaza de Armas. Around 4pm, there was a break in the weather, so I sat on a bench and started drawing the church, hoping Ashley would find me there. And she did!! Horray!! Reunited at last!! We went back to a coffee shop where 4 of her friends from her recent travels were waiting. They were all pretty cool, and we just kind of hung out there for a while to avoid the torrential downpours. That is about when I realized that the rains in Cusco were out of control. We went out in search of a hostel for the group, and it was raining sooo hard, I was a drowned rat. We were wading in water through the streets and I am fairly sure that 95% of the water was raw sewage, mostly because I saw raw sewage spewing out of the drains.... It was gross. And wet. And cold. 8 hours later, we found a suitable hostel for everyone, and I gathered up my stuff from the one I had taken shelter in earlier, and with the help of a rather persuasive Frenchman, was able to ditch that place and move in with the rest of htem. 98 more gallons of rain on my head and 6 feet of sewage later, we went to a restaurant where you sit on pillows on the floor and eat veggie food. We met a lot of other meditators there, and drank copious amounts of vino to celebrate our reunion. We also drew our top 7 favorite animals for everyone. Classic Ashley and Margaret. We had to shank the coke bottle full of wine that night because I had closed the lid too tight. Classic Margaret. And then it was so cold that night, we all slept in a real pile.

Jan 25- all my clothes were soaked in raw sewage, but luckily the hostel people had a laundry service, so happy day!! I had clean clothes in no time!! What a concept. They even had a drier. We mostly spent that day meandering around, and taking care of business. We walked up 484 steps to Quenqo to see some ruins, which was cool, although I did slip in mud. But we were pretty high up a mountain, so I think the chances of it having been mud and not mud mixed with sewage were pretty good. I tried to Skype mom and dad that night, but of course every computer I ever try to use has something wrong with it, so it didn't really work. Blast. We went back to the restaurant from the night before and shared some more good veggie food. We contemplated going out on the town, but the rain was relentless and we were soaked and cold again. So, we went to bed early and Ashley almost burned down the room with her sandalwood.

Jan 26- we ate a delicious breakfast with sauco jam and I saw a spider catch a fly and eat it right next to me. Apparently it wasn't satisfied with the sauco jam and it wanted some protein in its belly. Ashley got her passport that day!!! Whoohooo!! We walked around many markets, eating choclo con queso and popcorn. We got some rather snazzy Andean women leg warmers too. Warm and fashionable. The rain was still in full force, but we still hadn't heard much about the affects they were having on the campesinos at that point. Everyone went out to Indian food, but I didn't really feel all that good, so I went back home to sleep. Damn my post nasal drip and its direct correlation with the weather.

Jan 27- I woke up feeling much better, and there was a break in the rain that morning. Oh happy day. Ash and I left the hostel and accidentally met The Prophets of the Bible of Cannibus. They only wear white and they make vegetarian sandwiches and sell them in La Plaza de San Blas. They are from everywhere and nowhere. It was right after we met the prophets that we were informed about the devstation that the rains were causing in the campesinos. The flooding had reached the point of natural distaster and Cusco was declared to be in a state of emergency. People were dying and 1000s had lost their homes, their crops, their animals, everything. We went to La pLaza Mayor and ran into Guido, one of the guys from Ashleys meditation retreat. He was going to help lead a relief effort, and of course we wanted to help. So, we canceled our plans to go to Bolivia that night and jumped right in. We spent 8 hours that day collecting food, clothing, medicine, blankets, etc. and organzing it. Ashley and I kind of took over the shoe station, and organized all the pairs for the victems. We worked until about 10 or 11pm and even missed our salsa date for the sake of humanity.

Jan 28- We woke up at about 7am to go back and help. We found one of the Swedes that we met during the collection from the night before passed out in the pile of clothes.... he must have had a rough night after we left the shoe station.... We collected and sorted for about 3 hours, and then we were appointed by the officials to do medical reporting and environmental anaylisis in order to assess the immediate needs of the victems in the surrounding villages of the Sacred Valley. So, we hopped in a van with 2 Argentinians, a Spaniard, and 2 Peruvians, and made our way to Urubama, about an hour away. Wer visited about 5 communities between Urubamba and Ollantaytambo, and never in my life have I seen to much devastation with my own two eyes. It was horrible. Thousands of people were living in makeshift tents because their mud brick houses had just completely disintegrated in the floods. They had absolutely nothing. We distributed 1000s of gallons of water to these people, believe me, I had to count them, and they were so grateful, it felt good to help. I got many hugs. It is hard to put into words really. We ended up bringing many of the donations to the city center in Urubamba, for the people to distribute among themselves, and then we ended up back in Cusco around 7pm. During this time, we met Edgard, a University professor\archaeologist\guide\National Geographic photographer that was one of the people in charge of the relief oeffort. Grateful for our help, he offered us a place to stay and we gladly accepted. Our "A Team" went out for pizza and beer that night and had a good time relaxing after such a traumatizing day. Ash and I ended the night in bunk beds lined with alpaca and feather pillows. So nice.

Jan 29- The next day, Edgard made us lomo saltado, a traditional Peruvian meal, and gave us a Peruvian history lesson, which was extremely interesting. The relief effort was starting to dwindle after only such a short time because the government officials were trying to take control of something that the community ahd been running and everything fell apart. Needless to say, we did what we could, but short of buying our own helicopter and winning the lottery, without the community support of transportatoin and manpower, there was not much else we could do that day. Things were unraveling and it was frustrating because we wanted to do so much more. That night, Edgard and his nephew Yuri took us out salsa dancing. 76 cuba libres later, they went home while Ashley and I took on a Cusco discoteq by storm at about 4am. We accidently started a mosh pit and I was accused repeatedly of being Argentinian, Venezuelan, Chilean, Colombian, and Brasilian due to my hot Shakira latin dance moves. Note to self- starting moshpit at 3500 meters is hard on the lungs. There was a she wolf in my closet. I let it out so it could breathe. We went home at about 7am and Ashley honked the horn the entire way. Classic Ashley.

Jan 30- We decided to leave Cusco that night as there was nothing else the two of us could do to help the campesinos anymore. Frustrating, but cest la vie I guess. We spent the day hanging out with Edgard, and getting an inside tour of Cusco. Due to the fact that he knows everybody and is a rather repsected figure around town, we got into a bunch of places for free. We went to an underground museum and saw some Incan ruins and mummies, and saw a tradtional dance show which was pretty cool. We left that night for Puno. And had a few people waiting at the bus station in tuxedos to say bye to us. It was still raining.

Jan 31- We arrived in Puno at about 5am. We lucked out and found a cheap hostel that was really nice near the Plaza De Armas. There were drunk people on the street singing and dancing, so we knew we came to the right place. Carnival time has come. We took a nap, and then headed out. Every single person in town was wearing bright traditonal clohting and playing muscial instruments and dancing. It was crazy. Every street had a parade on it. We went to the futbol stadium and drank some beer and ate cotton candy while watching the dancing in the middle and Ashley sat on a tuna. Then wandered around and Ashley found a cheese grater. Classic Ashley. We got some papas fritas on the street and what they claimed was ketchup was clearly olive juice. Classic Peru. We made our way to get a view of the lake, and it was gorgeous. Lake Titkaka really is big. We headed back to the stadium and were let right in as the people at the door said, "Of course we remember you, you guys are the only two white people in this whole town...." So apparently we had arleady made our mark. The party didn't stop. Ever. Even when it started thundering and lightning at 10pm. We were tired from a long week of trauma and a long day of Brahma, so we hit the sack rather early.

Feb 1- We spent most of the day wandering around, exploring the town of Puno. We went to the Internet, which incidently just made us want to drink rum, so we went to the store and bought some. We then proceeded to drink in the square and watched more and more festivities. We went out to a pizza place that night and met some Californians. We played jenga well into the night.

I know you are all wondering.....

Was the banana ok?

Yes, it was still nice and yellow and had its firmness about it and I was able to fully enjoy it this morning. It was quite delicious, and an overall great banana experience. So no worries there.

And last night- instead of facing a group of key-stealing Germans, I was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of a very sweet Chilean guy who sang me to sleep with the help of his guitar and his melodic ballads of Valparaiso. I think it might be lovely to fall into slumber that way every night. Such sweet dreams.

And no, he was not wearing pants that zip into shorts. Just the classic 3 foot long dreadlocked ducktail.

Ok, so anyways, the strike is off!! Headed to Arequipa tonight!! Was planning on going straight through to Puno, a village on the shores of Lake Titicaca, but just got word from Ashley that she will have to stay in Cusco until her passport arrives. I thought about smuggling her across, but I suppose the last thing I need right now is a stay in a Bolivian prison because I was caught human trafficking. So, I might go from Arequipa to Cusco to meet up with her, then we will head to Lake Titicaca together when the passport comes through.

We will see where the wind takes me.

Godspeed.